By Lauren O’Connell
When my Penguin Cold Capping attempt to save my hair during chemotherapy didn’t work, I decided to take matters into my own hands and shave my head at my home in Dubai. My hair was falling out in clumps and thinning out like crazy. I couldn’t deal with it anymore, and honestly, it was breaking my heart. Just another thing that breast cancer seemed to be taking from me!
My husband and kids helped me shave my head and supported me through this emotional process. To make the moment a bit easier, I wore makeup so I wouldn’t be too alarmed when I saw my face without hair for the first time. Shaving my head felt like reclaiming some of my power and was an important step in my journey.
The shaving process was filled with tears and anger at the breast cancer that brought me to this point. I needed a way to turn this painful moment into something meaningful, so I decided to hold a ceremony. I burned my newly shaven hair along with a list of old habits and thoughts I had written on a piece of paper that no longer served me. It became a spiritual ceremony with my husband and kids by my side.
As soon as my hair was gone, I felt the cold air on my scalp and couldn’t help but wonder if men realize how drafty it is or if they just get used to it! I bought some beanies off Amazon to keep my head warm.
I’ve been bald now for four months and have adapted to my new look. My husband told me he never thought he’d get accustomed to seeing me with a shaved head, but he has. My kids say they can’t even imagine me with hair anymore.
Shaving my head was a powerful act of reclaiming control over my situation. It symbolized a fresh start and the shedding of old patterns. Though it was an emotional experience, it brought my family and me closer together and added a layer of spiritual significance to my journey through breast cancer. At the end of the day though, I can’t wait for my hair to grow back.
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